Don't get me wrong, I'm not an aloof person - just the opposite. My feelings get hurt lots of times. I've always been that way since childhood. During adulthood, I went through a long spell where my feelings didn't get hurt. That changed when I moved to California and found myself "lost" so to speak at church and meeting new friends. I've always been the person who wants to be happy and cheerful all the time and if something goes wrong, fix it, forget it and move on. I don't have time to be sad or melancholy.
What brought up this subject was a blog post I read the other day here. A similar thing happened to me when I was in 8th grade. My group of friends stopped talking to me. I felt sad but that was life. The next year our family moved out to the country where I attended the local high school. I had a wonderful time in high school that totally wiped out all those 8th grade memories. Fast forward to my late 50's and it happened all over again with a group of church women. It took me awhile to realize what was happening as none of us were in junior high! My hurt is scabbed over for now and the only way it was going to stay that way was for me to find a different place of worship. But, it makes me sad that people can be hurtful to one another. Why? In our big, wide, international world of today, we still want to huddle in our little circles and exclude others. Very sad indeed.
Recently, I participated in a blog exchange where I had the chance to meet some ladies whereby we could talk about about mutual interests. Somehow, and don't ask me how, it didn't work. The exchange worked but that was it. Nothing....it bothered me and it still bothers me. It made me a bit hesitant to even comment on Ravelry for instance as to whether the other person would respond. But, the new friends I've met on Ravelry do respond and are very gracious indeed!
Sometimes, I think we judge others by their outward appearance. In blog land, we can judge others by the looks of their blogs. I have tried to make my blog interesting to all people and at the same time still share in what is me. It's sometimes a fine line as to not offend a reader i.e., discussing politics, religion or other touchy subjects. Like most people, I have my opinions but I'm not going to voice them in an inappropriate setting.
I've learned a few things in my later years. Here's what I have come up with:
1. I'm not going to waste my time with people who I don't like
2. I'm not fond of pious people
3. I'm not going to judge someone by how they look or speak
4. I'm going to treat others as how I would like to be treated
5. I'm going to avoid situations where I can get my feelings hurt
Maybe the above sounds a bit too harsh. But, honestly, why should I waste my time in chit chatting with someone who I have no desire to know? And, as for pious people, I feel bad for them as they think they are the only enlightened ones. This totally goes against all that their faith teaches.
Which brings me to judging others as to how they look or speak. Sometimes I have felt that I would like to wear a sign that says "I don't speak your language but I do know such and such and how to do such and such...." Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm judged by how I look and speak.
One of our nearest and dearest friends are a couple who immigrated to America in the 60's. They don't share my faith but what we do share in friendship goes beyond any of that. They are such good hearted people who would do anything for anyone in need. And, they are not judgmental. This is what real friendship is about. Not being judgmental as to what faith you have or how you look or what language you speak.
Years ago my good friend told me a story about cookie baking. She was an expert and she said "do you think God will care if my cookies are perfectly baked?" I had to laugh as I feel the same way when I bake something; I want it to be perfect. But, in reality I'm far from perfect and will never be perfect. But, it would be nice to be remembered for being kind to others.
All is well in my world and I have so many things to be thankful for. I feel the lessons I learned at a later age will somehow help me to help others. Just be kind to one another.
With my best wishes,