I have a wonderful family and life. I know I'm blessed but sometimes I see those turbulent waves pop up now and then. It seems what sets me off these days is that many people (not my family) have forgotten what it means to be caring or nice. It brings to mind the saying: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It doesn't cost money or take much to be polite and caring.
I don't like change; if something works why change it. It will almost be six years since I moved to California. Sometimes I think if I was younger and had children then the move would have been easier. I've struggled to find a church and I'm almost to the point of becoming indifferent. But, on the bright side, I'm here next to my grandchildren; I see them numerous times each week and it's beyond joy to see them growing up. This is what makes life special.
I've always enjoyed meeting and visiting with older people. You can learn so much from them. But it seems like today's society only wants what is new and modern; friends included. I may be 62 and look 62 but in my mind (yes, my mind), I don't feel a certain age. But people can judge by looking. Two friendships that I cherished most were knowing two elderly friends; my dear friend Zaizaf and dear Mrs. G. Both of these women were immigrants to this country and they were filled with knowledge. They are gone now but I feel blessed to have known them. It's like looking at a cover of a book. It may not look "new" but oh, what a wonderful story is waiting for you.
Not everyone can project laughter, joy, spontaneous behavior but although they may seem quiet, they can be filled with so much joy and giving to share with others. My son who was home for an extended visit left yesterday to return to his work in Europe. I woke up this morning and my goodness the house was so empty. My husband agreed with me. It's still sometimes difficult to be an empty nester.
I love my life to be calm and quiet. Today my best friend for over 40 years called me. She has been dealing with some health issues in her family and I felt so bad I wasn't there to be with her. But, during our phone call today she brought joy to my heart. You know why? Because she too had been experiencing some of the same things as me and we understood each other's feelings. Her son had been home visiting with her and left this week. She felt sad. We spoke about how it's always hard to see them leave but of course they will return. Then we spoke about church. She has been going to her church for over 40 years. And now, just like me, she's struggling because of the changes that have occurred at her place of worship. I know this story well.
It may seem like I'm rambling on but accepting change is not an easy thing for me to do. On the other hand, I have no right or reason to complain. Life has been good to me and is good to me. My husband is always here to listen to me and my dear daughter does a wonderful job to keep both my husband and I entertained. So, I will carry on and continue to enjoy each and every day and all that life has in store for me. And maybe, gradually, I will be able to accept change more easily.
When I started this blog a few years ago, I never realized what joy and happiness it would bring to me. I learn so much for you my dear readers. And, if you really think about it, I shouldn't say I'm an empty nester because my husband and I do have Lilly, my big, Maine Coon kitty that keeps us company :)
I hope to return next week with maybe a knitting project. There's a couple of WIPs on my needles and so far, it's coming along splendidly. Until then...
My best wishes to you,
Pat
Linking with:
Sea is wonderful! I was born in inland, so I feel a bit frightened in front of the imense sea... Beautidul waves.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this beautiful post, Pat! I share many of your thoughts. Many things in the world seem to be changing to worse nowadays, and perhaps we shouldn't accept it at all. Being near to your grandchildren is a wonderful thing, to you and to them!!
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend! xx
Hello Pat there are so many stages of life, some are more tricky than others, remember the terrible twos! No sooner have you got to grips with one thing, you have something else to contend with. It's definitely good to blog as you can see there are others going through the same things which always helps doesn't it. x
ReplyDeleteI never had children (by choice) so I don't know the empty nester syndrome. I am aware that people seem to be getting crueller though. Nobody has time for anyone any more. And it's sad.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find what you need soon - whether it's friends, a church or just peace as you walk on the beach.
I love your photographs of the sea, and your words really made me think this morning. I wonder if we only notice the ups and downs because our lives are generally plain sailing - but I guess that's what makes life interesting! Hope you get to see your son again soon, and it's lovely that your daughter and grandchildren are so close xx
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel, there is no shame in admitting how difficult it is to be an empty nester. The waves of life are forever changing, have you thought about volunteering at a care home there are a lot of lonely people out there. Take care.
ReplyDeleteLove your sea photos. Some of the things you have mentioned have rung bells with me. I find it sad that people care less about others and that they don't have the patience for a slower, gentler more caring life. I am four years older than you and find it harder and harder to accept change and the harshness of life today. Have a lovely weekend:)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful ocean views and I can identify so well with your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou are not rambling at all. It is wonderful that your son came to visit, and in a way wonderful you miss him, that means you really enjoy the adult he has become, as well as being your child. I feel the same, very melancholy these days about my purpose here in life, and if I am in the right place.
ReplyDeleteI am sending you a big hug,
Meredith
It sometimes seems we become invisible when we get older. California is particularly bad about this, everyone there is supposed to be or at least look young.
ReplyDeleteOur daughter lives in Japan and each time she comes home and then leaves the house seems so empty.
We are at different phases in our lives Pat yet I recognise much in what you write. I'm glad you are blogging and that it brings you joy it certainly has brought us into each other's lives and I'm grateful for that. We are all here for you in this changing world. Sounds like your daughter is wonderful and to be by the grandchildren is great, wish my mother was closer to be part of my children's daily growing up xxxxx
ReplyDeleteWhat a heart- and thoughtful post! And: Lunch at the beach, that sounds famous -
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time
I am so sorry that you are struggling to find the right balance in life with things close to your heart. It is good that you have some good friends, closer by and far away, they are a real treasure and blessing aren't they. I wish I was closer so we could be friends too! Hope that things will become clearer for you. Thank you for joining Five On Friday again this week, I do so appreciate it and enjoy reading your posts. Hope you have a great weekend! xx
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the lovely visual ocean waves in your photos, Pat, and the ebb and flow of the waves of your emotions through your life experiences as well. It is distressing to witness thoughtlessness, and to part from loved ones, and to miss special fellowships, and to change, and yet as you also observed change can bring us great joy. I am glad we have bumped into each other in cyberspace through our blogs, and that we can share the waves of life we experience through this format. I am wishing God's best blessings for you and yours. xx
ReplyDeleteYour post is very moving, I think when we reach certain ages we evaluate our world, it's can be difficult at times, change is not something we relish. But with a loving partner and family around you, just like the sea calmer times will come. Blogging is a great way to share things, I'm glad I follow your blog. Love xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing the beautiful photos of the ocean. My mother who is in her 90's says she has an 18 year old inside trying to get out and gets very cross when anyone treats her like a "little old lady". I try to follow her example as she seems to embrace change and treats it as an adventure, but it can be hard when the waves of life toss you about. Take care. x
ReplyDeleteI feel like I have found a true friend in you because we share some of the same things in our lives. Our backgrounds are different, but you have seemed to "get" me more than once in your comments. You moved to CA almost six years ago...I to AZ over five. We came here to be closer to our kids, which means our daughter and s-i-l and grandson. Our daughter is an only child and our grandson is an only. Now we follow them to OR. But at this moment our sweet grandson I sleeping on our couch and I am having such feelings of joy having him here with us till school ends! It means so much! We had some church issues in Va before we left and I wanted to "go back" to a small country church with real Bible grounded preaching. It took me almost a year to find it, but we did, and we adore our church. I would have been miserable if we hadn't found that church home, and I can sure relate to your unhappiness in that regard. I feel like I am wise and worth knowing because of my age and experience. My husband and I embraced every duty station, every chance to get out and DO things, every learning experience over the years, and now as we are more home-bound, it is hard to let all that go. Especially for my hubby. Life is never easy, but my motto has always been "Be kind to one another; we're all in this together." And I think that's what we are here for, to do good to one another, because life IS hard! We need each other, and we need God. Blogging has become a true source of connection for me as well, with people I care about and who seem to care about me. Sometimes a comment will blow me away, and warm my hear. Times like that just make your day! I have a number of close friends I have moved away from, and I miss, and a couple who have died, and I miss...but there is always that beautiful seashell hidden in the sand, just ahead, and we can have the memories of one and those fleeting connections and we can have the new. I believe you will find a church, and perhaps a dear new friend....keep looking! How wonderful to be close to your family! I too know that as one of my greatest sources of happiness! God bless...
ReplyDeleteMarie
If this was a ramble, I love it! Ramble on!
ReplyDeletePat, what you've written here rings many bells with me too. I think it's so important to feel what we feel, and admit when things are hard. Then those feelings can come out in the open and not be so powerful. I know just what you mean about people seeming to be less caring. In our family we often seem to say the phrase, "What is wrong with people?!" But all we can do is look for the good in life. It's great that blogging has brought you so much, the same is true for me. Life is always surprising, that is for sure! And quite often it holds nice surprises for us. There are some more waves over on my blog at the moment if you want them! Take care, Xox
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you on the change thing. The only change I like to see is something different on the dining room table!
ReplyDeleteI have a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old son, and the thought of being an empty-nester entices me not at all. In fact, I'm terrified of it.
I love the conversation and connection I get through blogging, and am so glad to have to met you through Stephanie's tea cup exchange!
I look forward to visiting you again soon.
Thanks for writing your post Pat. I struggle with change too. And my nest isn't empty as yet but two are far from home and it is hard and I'll admit to having a good cry now and then. I think it helps me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, why do some people have to be nasty? They seem to relish in it. Along the way I've met them (or they are relatives) and I have let them go. It is to toxic.
Sending you best wishes for a lovely week. Thanks you for the waves, they are beautiful.
It did not seem a ramble to me. We are 3 months aeay from empty nest with the 2nd daughter headed to college 14 hours away! I can't even imagine acontnent and ocean away. Prayers fir your worship search, I pray you fnd the right place.
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