Thursday, August 18, 2016

Blogging Etiquette (...if there is such a thing...)

Hello dear friends.  I'm writing to you from very hot, southern California.  I thought we'd have a break in the weather by now but no luck as of yet! 

Since you, my readers, have always been so kind and willing to help me, I wanted to ask your opinion about something.  It regards blogging etiquette. . .

https://thelittlebookeater.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/28-emily-posts-etiquette.jpg
I remember reading Emily Post years ago and trying to adhere to all the rights/wrongs

Maybe my generational gap is showing it's age but here's my story.  It has been a joy seeing my blog, Lilly My Cat, become a place where I can share what I've been making or doing.  Along with that, I have met some wonderful people and my blog has become a true hobby for me.  

My daughter was the one who originally helped me with getting my blog and readership in order.  She told me that I should visit other blogs and comment and see what is out there in blogland.  In time, I found different blogs hosting link parties where I was not only able to share my blog but find other blogs that I could follow.

Some of those link parties had like 200 links and my blog got lost as did I.  But, there were a couple where I could link to and thoroughly enjoying meeting new friends.  Namely, Handmade Monday and Amy's Five on Friday at Love Made My Home.

Now, both of these blog hosts are in the UK and I'm in California.  But, in blogland it doesn't make any difference as we can share in each others interests, trials and triumphs no matter where we are located.  I have met such dear friends through these two links.  And, in return, you have met me (haha).

So, here's the glitch I have.  Over a year ago I found a lovely blog that hosts a link up party each week for those who want to share their knitting.  I was thrilled to find this party and faithfully added my link up each week (the blog is on EST time, three hours ahead of California time so even when I linked up at 8:00AM my time, I was sometimes late to the party).  This week I linked up since I had written a post about my knitting and I thought I would share it with like minded readers.  I was excited to see some comments as I visited new sites via the link party and commented and also got some new ideas.

Here's what happened....nothing.  Zilch.  Not one comment.  Now this link party had just under 75 link ups.  What did I do wrong?  My daughter told me ". . .now don't get yourself upset . . ."  But it makes me wonder what is blogging/link parties all about?  I originally thought that maybe US bloggers are a bit shy vs the UK bloggers but that's not correct.  As I have some great blog friends here in the US.  Friends that I can "talk" to via our comments or email.  This situation has left me a bit puzzled.

In the meantime, I have taken down my link on both my post and at the link party.  And, I don't think I will join in anytime soon.  Maybe I expect too much of people now?  I remember a year or so ago when I wrote a blog post about my daily routine.  One of the comments was a bit impolite as to "how nice to have time to . . .as some of us work. . ."  I published that comment but I wanted to say that "yes, I have time now but I too used to work full time, raise two children and manage a rental business".  I know people are busy and there's more to life than commenting on blogs.  But really, if you're going to share something, shouldn't it be equal?
I know you dear readers will set my straight on this.  Maybe the heat is getting to me :)
Wishing you the best,
Pat
Linking with:
Lilly My Cat :)  

40 comments:

  1. Hi Pat, I've heard crickets on the other end of a few blog links before :) I give it a few tries and if there are no friendships formed there, I don't bother. People are so busy and because the site was a large link-up, perhaps you just got lost in the crowd. Right now I am picking up virus threats from some of them, so I am off the link-ups for now until I get better security installed. It is good etiquette to try and reply to visitors :) xx K

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    1. Hi Karen, I agree with you about link-up at unknown sites. And, I think you're correct about the large number of sites that link up. Thank you for taking the time to visit and I appreciate your comment. Pat xx

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  2. That's a bit of a surprise, I know that when I link up at Amy's I then visit the blog of everyone else who has linked. Might take me more than a day to visit them all, but I do. And if I can't think of something kind to say, I just don't say anything.
    Must tell you that I've enjoyed your blog ever since I found it!!!

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    1. Thank you Janet. I so enjoy reading your blog, too. And, it's good advice about if you can't say something nice, don't say at all. I hope you are feeling better today! Hugs, Pat

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  3. I have noticed lately that sometimes I link up to a blog and receive absolutely no comments on my own blog, but I do have a few regular followers who usually comment. Some posts have more, some less. I enjoy reading your blog, but I have to admit that there are posts that it takes me more than a few days to get to replying. I don't know about blog etiquette, but I do try to visit the blog of anyone who comments on mine and return the favor. I do agree that nasty comments would be annoying. I think sometimes others don't realize the tone that comes across to the reader.

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    1. Thank you Cathie for your help. Your kind words have helped me see that I'm not the only one. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Pat xx

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  4. I don't link any more, some of the comments were from people who I did not have anything in common with. I just run my blog for me, having followers is a bonus as is getting comments. If I want to read different blogs, I go to a blog I am following I click on a blog she is following and the read the blogs that person is following, I have found interesting blogs that way, I'd yours!

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    1. Thank you Marlene for your help. I think that's a great way that I should think of my blog as "for me". I have so enjoyed reading your blog too and getting to know you. Wishing you a wonderful evening, Pat xx

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  5. Hi Pat. I think the bigger a link-up is the smaller the chances that you find new readers/friends. There is only so many blogs one can read and if faced with the choice, I'd probably read those that I am already familiar with. Link-ups remind me of moving to a small village, it can take a while and a lot of effort before you make new friends. In a way, bogland is not different than the non virtual world, where it can be difficult to find your niche. The advantage of the virtual world is of course that the playing field is much larger and you can make friends with people across the world, which is really nice. Have a nice weekend. x

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    1. I think you are correct Christina in all points you shared above. It is like a village in a way, isn't it? I appreciate the time you took to comment today. Hugs, Pat

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  6. I haven't embarked on any link ups, so can't help with that I'm afraid. Pinterest brings different folk to my blog but they don't normally comment. I tend to find new blogs through the bloggers I already follow,
    similar interests an' all.

    Best

    jean

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    1. Hi Jean, thank you for your comment. I too find new blogs via other blogs I read. I hope your week was good. Many thanks, Pat xx

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  7. I am glad that you have good results from Five On Friday, I try really hard to encourage others to participate and go and visit! I think that is important. I think it also helps that FOF is fairly small so people feel they can go and visit others. I think that with large link ups everyone gets a bit lost. I have joined a large weekly yarn link up too and never had any response. Sometimes I link up, but know that it will not bring any visitors! So, my advice for anyone is this. Link if you want to and go and visit and mention that you have come from the link. That way you will spread the word about linking and visiting. Try really hard not to take things to heart. I have just had a little "thing" on my blog with a comment that I consider was less than friendly and complained about something that I had done and when I went and checked the persons blog all was well. So some people are just that way inclined. I know it is hard to ignore them - I am still bugged by what happened to me - but if you can and can move past it that is the thing to do I think. Keep on keeping on and don't let the (&)&&^()$%£*) get you down!

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    1. I think you have given me some very wise advice Amy. Thank you so much. I absolutely love Five on Friday and all the friends I have met through your blog, including you dear friend! Pat xx

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  8. Dear Pat, I'm just getting back into blogging again, but only when I feel up to it. However, I just wanted to say that I very much appreciate your friendship. Thank you so much for praying for me at this time of dealing with a health problem. Usually I try to respond to comments that are left on my blog, but at the moment I'm taking life slowly and have not been able to do that. Re. link ups - I only link up with Amy's Five on Friday when I can and look forward to resuming when I have something to contribute later in the year as it's a lovely group of fellow bloggers. It's also good to link up with others who have the same specific interests so I hope that you find a group who blog about knitting where you get more interaction, which is adds to the enjoyment of blogging. Bless you my friend.

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    1. Hi dear Linda, you are so kind to write to me today. It's been a joy to know you through your blog and of course I will be praying for you and your recovery. Hopefully, I can find another link up for my knitting at some point. Wish my best wishes to you, Pat xx

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  9. Hi Pat, I have to apologize. I'm one of those bloggers you are talking about. I absolutely love reading blogs but most times I don't leave a comment. When I don't comment it has to do with lack of time or not knowing what to say. I do try very hard if a comment is left on my blog to stop by for a visit and leave a comment. I haven't been blogging for very long. After reading your post I will definitely try to leave more comments, pleasant ones of course!

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    1. Hi Lisa, no apologies necessary dear friend. I know life can be so busy with everything that needs to get done. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I look forward to visiting with you via blogland. Pat xx

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  10. Ouch, that sounds like a nasty experience. I don't know about etiquette, because I don't take part in link ups etc. I live in the UK and I read many US blogs, including yours. If a post particularly resonates with me then I leave a comment. I might have thoroughly enjoyed other posts, but I don't feel that I have anything constructive to contribute. That doesn't mean I don't care. I didn't realise the effect of non-commenting could have. I'll try to do better in future. Blessings

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  11. Hi Lesley, thank you for your kind comment. I too don't always leave a comment but I guess I was referring to this particular glitch I have with this knitting link up. It's probably a good idea for me to take a break from link ups...Wishing you a wonderful weekend. Many thanks, Pat

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  12. I'm sorry you've had a negative experience with link parties. I know nothing about etiquette as I'm a silver surfer/blogger. I'm also of a generation (you are too I assume) that was taught to be polite and 'nice' to people.
    The larger link parties can be a problem sometimes I find, as it's almost impossible to comment on all of them if there are 50 or 60 links. And it takes up the whole day. And if for some reason one is a bit late linking up, sometimes there are very few or no comments as everyone has already done their reading and commenting. I tend to link up with small groups because (as you rightly point out) you get to know people more and friendships do develop.
    Thank you very much for your nice comment on my blog today. My husband and I have been out tonight and it's 1 am in the morning. He says it's time for bed and I said: I've had a comment from Lily's Mom and I want to answer her before I go to bed. Lily who? I had to smile. But he is right. I ought to go to bed now. So I wish you good night,
    Lisca
    PS Please don't let your negative experience keep you from connecting in future. Blogland is great.

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    1. Thank you so much Lisca for taking the time to comment. Both I and Lilly (my big Maine Coon cat) are happy to know you. You shared with me some excellent advice. Blessings to you dear friend, Pat

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  13. Hello Pat,
    don't know about any etiquette and most probably many people may think me rude, but even though I'm a regular visitor of your blog I do not leave a comment each time either. Sometimes I find it difficult to express my thoughts or I simply cannot think of anything worth while to add. Even though I visit linkup parties and do have a look at some of the links (not all 75 of them - that would consume far too much time) I do not think it's particularly nice either to say nothing but "lovely", "well done", "great", etc... You see: I'm no good with etiquette - Sorry...
    Have a nice weekend though,
    Marjan

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    1. Thank you Marjan for your visit and comment and I consider you a dear blog friend. My best to you, Pat

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  14. I can understand why you're upset, if I'd taken the time to read other people's posts, comment on them and then receive nothing back I'd be upset too. I always try to reply to any comments I receive on my posts and I always try to visit the blog of the person who's left the comment and leave a comment for them. I started off my blog for myself but the friendships and interaction between bloggers is such an added bonus. I've had experiences where I've left comment after comment on a blog, had no reply and no comments back and you just end up feeling why bother? It makes you wonder if you're comments are even being read. I'd much rather spend my time reading and interacting with friendlier bloggers.

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    1. Hello Jo, thank you for sharing your experiences and for your wise advice. I will start to change my practices. I hope your Sunday is going well. Pat

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  15. It is disheartening when you have linked with a post and no comments. We don't expect hundreds but it's nice to get a few. I don't blame you removing your post. I know five on Friday with Amy doesn't seem like that. It really has helped me make lots of blogging friends. I'm sorry if I haven't made comments more often. B x

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    1. Hello dear friend. Yes, I love Five on Friday and all the friends I've met through Amy's blog. Don't worry about your comments as it wasn't directed to my regular readers. Thank you so much for your comment and have a wonderful week. Pat

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  16. Pat, you are so lovely and your blog is too. Do not get upset, just post on a party link if you want to and don't worry about people visiting. I do that often and no one visits but I think that life is just very busy for people and that is just one more thing that they have to do. Be kind to yourself, join in if you want and don't worry about the visits. Here in blog land just like in real life you will get some really great friends, and a few that visit every once in a while.
    Hugs to you,
    Meredith

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    1. You are too kind Meredith. I so appreciate your advice and I'm going to change my ways (haha). Many thanks dear friend, Pat xx

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  17. Hi Pat, don't be disheartened. When I first joined Five on Friday I would assiduously read and comment on all the other posts, but I soon realised that most participants didn't do that. Now I read all the posts but don't always comment, usually because I can't think of anything interesting to say and don't have much time! I LOVE reading other blogs, including yours, and I LOVE being part of the community Amy has created, but I think that some people only join link-ups to gain readers and I don't think that's what "community" is about, all take and no give! x

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I too love Five on Friday as everyone is so friendly and I have met so many dear friends like you. I just had hoped the "other" link up party re knitting would have been the same. But, it's OK and life will go one. Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Pat xx

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  18. Hi Pat. It is a bit unsettling when you don't get many comments. I must admit I don't do links because I don't have the time or patience to comment. I always try to comment on people's posts who visit mine. Inwrite my blog primarily for me. I like to look back and see what I was doing last year etc.but it also for my family to help us keep in touch since we moved out here. I know a lot of them read my post every week but they don't comment. But beyond that I have made a wonderful group of international friends. It has made the world a smaller place and opened my eyes to see things i would not have otherwise seen. My craft blog is different. I only enter two or three challenges, again because I do not have the time to comment on the other entries, but I have made more friends on that one, and learned so many new techniques. So just do what you are comfortable with, and what gives you pleasure, and the friends will find you. Hugs, Kate xx

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    1. Hello Kate, you have shared with me today some very good advice. It is a wonderful idea to think of my blog as a way to look back and see what I've done. I always look forward to reading your post on Friday as I love learning about the area you live in and all the exciting things you are doing. Thank you again for being a dear friend and I hope you have a wonderful week. Pat xx

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  19. I have joined link parties in the past and always made an effort to visit the other blogs and leave a comment. I've found some lovely blogs that way which I still visit - I don't link any more as I don't have time to read all the blogs and feel that it isn't fair to expect people to read mine if I'm not going to reciprocate. Unfortunately, I think that some people see link-ups as just that - a chance to get their blog seen without having to make the effort themselves, but I think that they are missing the whole point of being part of the blogging community by doing that. Feel sorry for these people, not cross with them - you've only got to look at the comments that you have here to know that you're doing something right! ;-) xx

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  20. Hello dear friend! You are absolute correct in your thoughts. I will remember your wise words and not worry so much about it anymore. I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Will chat with you via your blog....Pat xx

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  21. Perhaps some of your readers are just quiet sorts? I read and enjoy MANY blogs without commenting, and I can see from my "clicks" that many other folks read my blog also without commenting. I try to only comment when I have something to say, but that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying what others are sharing. Hope you keep plugging along - I enjoy your blog : )

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  22. My blog roll did not roll this post to me until now, so I am late in entering the conversation. I have learned from the discussion. Thanks for introducing the topic, Pat. I try to comment on the blogs of those who have commented on mine. A few times I have found that the commenter who left a comment on one of my posts did not have a blog, so I have left a comment after their comment on my blog. So far the link parties I have taken part in have been small enough that I tried to visit each blog and leave a comment over a few days time, but even then I have not been able to visit everyone. I have enjoyed meeting bloggers new to me through link parties and sometimes just by visiting bloggers who have left a comment on another blog I follow. Not everyone who I want to interact with wants to interact with me, so after leaving many comments with no response I stop commenting and sometimes have stopped reading the blog, or still read it without worrying about commenting. In general, more and more I realize I just publish posts when I can and read other blogs and comment when I can, aiming to comment with kindness and encouragement.
    Hope you and yours have a good week, Pat! xx

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  23. Pat, I'm late to this party! As I've taken the summer mostly away from blog land. Think it's all already been said. Sure it is nothing you have done but it was a large link up and if as you say you added in later than others then I suspect people didn't get as far or have time to read and comment.

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  24. Yikes published before I was finished!!! Maybe try once more otherwise stick with us Brits. I love your knitting posts xxx

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